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About Varied / Hobbyist Member Ana Lillith Bar44/Female/United States Recent Activity
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::icondragonspin1::icondragonspin2:FCKmyWAYoutOFthisMESS by SpookyChan:icondragonspin1::icondragonspin2:



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As many of you know, I have had on-going health issues for several years. Recently, I applied at the UofM hoping beyond hope, that they, of all people would find some answer. But, like every other doctor I have been to the last nine years, they did the exact same tests as everyone else had done before: Surprise! Surprise! (please note sarcasm, for the more dense of the reader) They got the same results as every other motherfucker whose medical license and Hippocratic Oath seems to be more worthy of ass-slathered toilet paper, than the actual paper it is written on.

Nearly four years ago my health had declined to such a state that my speech had become horribly impaired, my short term memory was shot, and my ability to read had been hindered, my toes and lips were turning blue, and I was being fed antibiotics like pez candies, and being told, time and time again, I'm suffer PTSD. And the physical issues that I am suffering can all be "cured" with a little chat with a professional and a bit more exercise. At that same time, unknown to me, my "friends and family" and the doctors had turn my life into a goddamn "game show." And I, trying to prove them right and my inner instincts wrong: I busted my ass working out, only to find my symptoms worsening...

So, here I am now... 99% of my friends can no longer be considered friends, I don't talk to my children (and some people have made a lovely point of poking fun at my having been "disowned by my own children"), and the hopes of finding answers are slipping down the sewer system that has become our healthcare system.

The point of my rant is this: If I'm faking... IF some where down the line I "suffered a nervous breakdown" (as you twats - you know who you are - are so fond of pondering to one another) why then would I not feel bad about losing friend and family over something I clearly cannot change.

On the Warrior-side of this life experience: I'm letting you know, you who are left of my friends, "fans", supports and minions, I refuse to give up. I will find answers. I am not crazy. I am, by God, not making this shit up. I know I am not the only person going through this shit. And if I have to defy convention and the odds, just to prove I'm not wrong... There is an answer, and I will find it.

Thanks for letting me vent. A great deal has happened. And though I talk about it with my besty, sometimes you just gotta scream at the world to get your fucking point across.

  • Mood: Frustrated
  • Listening to: more bullshit than is acceptable
  • Reading: the future
  • Watching: out for the truth
  • Playing: angry heroine
  • Eating: middle fingers


Ana Lillith Bar
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States

Minions by stuck-in-suburbia
Evil Minions by TheParanoIIdPsychoI just have to prove myself by RebiValeskaWalking the Dog by wangqrEverything by TheParanoIIdPsychoAccept Me Or Reject Me, It's Your Choice by animefan046
Bouvet Island by SirvanaRachanaStamp: The Queen by etchedglassI Am Heaven Sent by DrewDahlmanStamp: Minions by etchedglassTokelau by SirvanaRachana
Move only when you see an advantage and there is something to gain. Only fight if a position is critical. - Sun Tzu -</b>

Dare to Be!!!

"... no one ever got into trouble for not talking too much." - Perry Mason, "The Case of the Howling Dog"
Wink Wink Nudge Nudge

:iconnaughtygrandmaplz: On the inside, I'm quite old. :iconnaughtygrandmaplz:
My passion is getting the most out of every minute.

Favourite genre of music: Rock n Roll
Favourite style of art: Whatever moves me
MP3 player of choice: My PC
Skin of choice: My Own
Favourite cartoon character: Bugs Bunny
Personal Quote: Make no judgment where you have no compassion. - Anne MacCaffery


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PAtScHWOrK Featured By Owner 2 hours ago
thank you :heart:
milenkadelic Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you very much for the :+fav:! :iconsun--plz:
analillithbar Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
DanStefan Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014   Photographer
hello !

Thank you very much…

Best wishes  !
analillithbar Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
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